Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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