i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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