this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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