I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
