he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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