i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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