Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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