Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
this is an emotional support booty call
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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