I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
