my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Reggie can tackle my bush.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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