No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
