but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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