I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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