am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
