I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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