I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
