Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
