..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
