and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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