I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize