so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize