new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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