omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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