dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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