I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize