Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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