ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning