I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
