I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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