He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize