he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.