in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?