the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.