a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize