Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
