why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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