Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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