And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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