A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize