I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize