WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize