is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
