I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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