not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize