She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
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I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize