YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize