I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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