We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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