would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
FUCK WHALES
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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