What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
handjob tips. give me some.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
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Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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