that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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