hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize